Receiving Generously
annual pledge drive sermon, March 4, 2018
I don’t like to talk about money, unless it’s about how I’m saving it. I am a cheapskate. I take great pride in noting how many of the items in my closet have been handed down or for which I have purchased for less than $5. If any of you have commented on my outfit, you’ve probably heard me say, without embarrassment, “Thanks, I got it from my mom.” And the fondness I have of any particular item of clothing is enhanced if I can say, “I bought it at the Salvation Army for $4!” I like to think that part of my frugality is about a rejection of consumerism. It makes me feel good about myself to know I am not contributing to the landfill…at least not as much as I would if I were not such a spendthrift. But, truth be told, part of my passion for hand me downs and resale shops stems from a mentality of scarcity.
I grew up in a family that didn’t talk openly about money. There was an air of secrecy to money that may have stemmed from my grandparents. They had this funny dynamic that played out at every family gathering. My grandfather would slip us kids five dollar bills and tell us not to tell grandma, who’s lingering depression mentality had her stockpiling cans of tuna and boxes of Jell-O. She constantly chided him for giving their money away. At home, I was oblivious to the level of privilege and financial comfort lived in, until I was living on my own and starting my own family. We weren’t wealthy by the standards of my neighborhood but I certainly never worried about losing our house or having enough food. We had ready access to medical care, transportation, and education. These were easy things to take for granted as a child. Easy things to avoid talking about. And we certainly didn’t talk about how much money went to our church or any other charity, if any did. I have no memories of ever putting anything into an offering basket. It wasn’t until I came to this church that I ever thought about why anyone would financially support their church, let alone considered how much to give. It was here that I first felt a sense of ownership and belonging to a community, such that I wanted to support it in every way I could.
Money, like power, can be uncomfortable to talk about. Perhaps because they can so easily be used as tools of oppression. But like any tool, money as well as power, can be used with love and equity to create justice, to do good in the world. Deciding what we do with our money, how we live our values through our financial means, is an important aspect of our justice work. As I’ve learned through organizer training, power can come in the form of organized money and organized people. Here we have both. And I know, first hand through this beloved community, that organized power can truly transform lives.
Living justly through our money takes real consideration and it means cultivating a spirit of generous giving and generous receiving. It means recognizing our interdependence and our mutuality, regardless of our means.
In the book “The Generosity Path” the author, Mark Ewert, invites the reader to consider, not just what and how they give but how well they are able to receive the generosity of others. In thinking about this, I realized how much I struggle with receiving gifts generously. It’s not that I am not grateful. I am. It is more about doubting that I have something of value to give in return. It is about feeling indebted and questioning my own worth in receiving such generosity and kindness. This scarcity in receiving, makes me a less generous giver. I question every gift I give another person – is it enough? Is it stupid? Is it frivolous or cheap or silly? It’s exhausting, really.
Generosity comes from seeing true value in ourselves and others and knowing that we have something of value to give, whether that is time, money, energy, passion, ideas. And it comes from being open to whatever gifts come our way.
Our story today reminds us of the joy of giving and receiving. The young boy longed for a specific gift, a drum, and yet his mother gave him something else, a stick that she found on the road. And he received the gift, even though it wasn’t what he asked for, with a generous heart. He held it lightly and with joy so that when that gift was needed elsewhere, he passed it along easily. He could see where a gift was needed and he gladly accepted whatever came in its place.
How do you receive generous gifts? How do we receive generosity as a community and what do we do with those gifts? We have the power, each one of us and all of us together, to transform whatever comes our way into greater and greater gifts. How do we animate and expand our blessings through our relationships of care and love?
With Rev. Bret’s departure, we have an opportunity to start again, not from where we were before he became our minister, but with new experiences and learning that his leadership encouraged us to gain together. I share the feelings many of you have expressed – deep sadness at his departure for I am losing my friend, my colleague, and my mentor but also great joy in knowing that he is fulfilling a profound calling and that he and Cindy are eager to begin this new adventure together. I am grateful that he will be able to serve our faith in such an important way. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to minister to this church alongside him. And I’m excited about the possibilities that await this community.
What will we do with this opportunity? What can we imagine together and how can we bring our dreams into reality? We have done tremendous work together over these last five years and we have much to be grateful for. We are part of a community that nourishes and sustains us, that challenges us to transform our connection with one another into our commitment to help create a better, more sustainable and just world. How has your life been enriched by this community? What gifts have you received? What gifts of yourself have you shared and therefore expanded in this place and with these people?
In her 2016 Ted Talk, Journalist Courtney E. Martin talks about the shifting landscape of the American Dream. She states that, “for the first time in American history, the majority of parents do not think that their kids will be better off than they were.”
In other words, the American Dream is no longer within reach for most of us. But what if the dream itself is flawed. What if waking from that dream could awaken us to the benefits of more communal, cooperative living? What if our greater need to maximize our inherent interdependence made us live more simply, more sustainably and more mutually fulfilling lives? What if our recognition of how much we really need each other to thrive could empower us to relish the opportunities presented to us to give and receive. What if the everyday lived experiences of our connectivity inspired us to more fully and wholeheartedly share our gifts, to prioritize our relationships to one another over our ability to obtain more stuff?
Martin, in her Ted Talk, explains that she lives in a modified communal living situation where burdens and emotional support are shared among families. There is respect for privacy but also a mutuality that is priceless, that brings greater ease and satisfaction to life. For so much of our recent history, the American Dream has involved the image of some kind of perfect family in a perfect house behind a perfect picket fence. Our separateness, our individuality, our ability to make it on our own without help has been the measure of success.
But Martin asserts:
“The "new better off," … is less about investing in the perfect family and more about investing in the imperfect village, whether that's relatives living under one roof, a cohousing community…, or just a bunch of neighbors who pledge to really know and look out for one another… [or, I would add, a religious community that strives to nurture the human spirit for a world made whole.] The most reliable wealth is found in relationship.” She concludes.
This congregation has helped me to cultivate a more giving heart and to be a more gracious recipient. I am still not a wealthy person but my life is richer than I could have possibly imagined it would be and so much of that is the result of finding this community and cultivating the kind of relational, communal living Courtney Martin is talking about.
Now more than ever we have work to do, together. Now more than ever, we have a new dream to build – one that expands equity and compassion. One that makes each of us feel safer and braver, more cared for, more freely able to be our true selves. One that amplifies the voices of those who are marginalized, those who are suffering, those who are without enough food, or medicine, or housing, or mental healthcare. Now more than ever, the world outside these walls needs a progressive voice to answer the voices of hate with love. To answer the voices of isolation and protectionism, with liberation and mutuality. To answer the voices of vengeance with restorative justice. I cannot speak for you, but I need our voice. I need this community to feel the strength and the power of these people. I need the soul nourishment of this community to cast out the shadows of despair and to remember goodness, to be reminded that we are going to keep on striving, keep on showing up, again and again to resist fear mongering.
The other night, as I left this church, after a long day of work, many of you were here making lunches, serving food, welcoming folks in, and cleaning up. You were here even though you have full time jobs, and family members who are ill, and children that need to do homework. I am, over and over again, overwhelmed by the generosity of spirit demonstrated here. The world needs that kind of generosity, now more than ever and we need to strengthen one another to resist the evil of injustice. Now more than ever we need to learn from one another across generations, to create spaces where people can connect across difference, support one another through struggle and embolden each other to speak truth to power.
Now more than ever we need to organize, to write letters, to educate ourselves, to spiritually sustain ourselves, to create space for growth, to invite more and more people in to celebrate, lament, and thrive. Now more than ever we need to strive to fairly pay those who work tirelessly to make this church a vibrant hub of activity where transformation can happen – those who set up chairs, who clean and beautify our spaces, those who put together our newsletter and website, who care for our children and do so many things that most of us are unaware of.
This beloved community is a laboratory where we get to practice and cultivate this dynamic of giving and receiving. We are only operational because of the profound mutuality of true generosity. As we build our capacity to give, we are also building our capacity to receive generously. As we ask ourselves, “How much can I give?” We are also asking, “How much do you need?” “What do I have that is of value, and what do I deserve to receive?”
We heard an inspiring testimonial today from Alice Swan and you will be hearing from others over the next few weeks speaking to why they give to this church and how they decide what to give. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing our annual pledge drive, this is a process of building beloved community. You will get a call or an email from one of the 70 or so members of the church who have agreed to visit with other members and talk about their experience here. They will ask to meet you for coffee, or at your house, or here at church – whatever is most convenient for you. I encourage you to say yes, because this isn’t just a conversation about money, which you may, like me, shy away from. It is about our relationship to each other and the church. They’ll ask you about your experiences here – what you’ve enjoyed, what you have questions or concerns about, and how you might want to get involved further. It is first and foremost a chance to build relationships. Yes, they’ll ask you to fill out your pledge form but they won’t ask you to tell them what you’re going to give. They can answer some questions about the budget and help you think through how you might decide what to give, but only if you want to. Most people find this a very pleasant experience. Really.
Know this: people give to this church in a multitude of ways. They give of their time, their energy, their wisdom and passion. They give of their talents and expertise. And people give their financial resources. Some of you give tremendously, because you have greater financial means and are in a place in your lives when you can give much more than others. Some of you have college tuitions or medical expenses or other burdens that limit your financial giving but you give what you can. Some of you have very limited financial means and, if that is true for you, while my hope is that you have all that you need, it is okay that you aren’t able to contribute much or at all financially. No one’s value is determined by the amount of money you give. You are each valuable and deserving of the gifts that this congregation has to offer. We are each worthy of the joy of giving and receiving. We are each a part of this beloved community, no matter what number you write down on that pledge form. I ask you to stretch yourself into greater generosity, whatever that means for you, because generosity brings joy and abundance. I believe that. If you think you can afford another $100 a month or another $5, I ask you to reach for that. If you feel that now more than ever, we need to build our progressive voice of faith to answer the screams of authoritarianism, give what you can to support this church. If you can’t give financially, or can only give a small amount, give of your heart, and your passion and your time. And if you can’t give those, just receive. For now, just let yourself receive. When you receive generously, knowing you are held in love and compassion, we are all made better and stronger. Your time will come when you can give more. I know that. Someone told me that long ago, when I first started here. It was true. I am overjoyed to strive toward giving more and more. It comes out of the wellspring of deep love I have for this place and its people. For all of you.
My friends, generosity takes many forms. Only you can know what makes sense for you and your family. I trust you. We trust you and you have a right to be here and to participate fully no matter what you can give. My ask is that you give fully with your heart knowing that you are worth that generous giving and generous receiving. You are worth that openness to abundance, to the gifts that life has to offer and that you have tremendous gifts to share. May those gifts, whatever they may be, in whatever amount or form they are manifested, may they truly bring you joy and may they forever expand and grow in goodness, power and love.
May it be so. May we make it so.
I grew up in a family that didn’t talk openly about money. There was an air of secrecy to money that may have stemmed from my grandparents. They had this funny dynamic that played out at every family gathering. My grandfather would slip us kids five dollar bills and tell us not to tell grandma, who’s lingering depression mentality had her stockpiling cans of tuna and boxes of Jell-O. She constantly chided him for giving their money away. At home, I was oblivious to the level of privilege and financial comfort lived in, until I was living on my own and starting my own family. We weren’t wealthy by the standards of my neighborhood but I certainly never worried about losing our house or having enough food. We had ready access to medical care, transportation, and education. These were easy things to take for granted as a child. Easy things to avoid talking about. And we certainly didn’t talk about how much money went to our church or any other charity, if any did. I have no memories of ever putting anything into an offering basket. It wasn’t until I came to this church that I ever thought about why anyone would financially support their church, let alone considered how much to give. It was here that I first felt a sense of ownership and belonging to a community, such that I wanted to support it in every way I could.
Money, like power, can be uncomfortable to talk about. Perhaps because they can so easily be used as tools of oppression. But like any tool, money as well as power, can be used with love and equity to create justice, to do good in the world. Deciding what we do with our money, how we live our values through our financial means, is an important aspect of our justice work. As I’ve learned through organizer training, power can come in the form of organized money and organized people. Here we have both. And I know, first hand through this beloved community, that organized power can truly transform lives.
Living justly through our money takes real consideration and it means cultivating a spirit of generous giving and generous receiving. It means recognizing our interdependence and our mutuality, regardless of our means.
In the book “The Generosity Path” the author, Mark Ewert, invites the reader to consider, not just what and how they give but how well they are able to receive the generosity of others. In thinking about this, I realized how much I struggle with receiving gifts generously. It’s not that I am not grateful. I am. It is more about doubting that I have something of value to give in return. It is about feeling indebted and questioning my own worth in receiving such generosity and kindness. This scarcity in receiving, makes me a less generous giver. I question every gift I give another person – is it enough? Is it stupid? Is it frivolous or cheap or silly? It’s exhausting, really.
Generosity comes from seeing true value in ourselves and others and knowing that we have something of value to give, whether that is time, money, energy, passion, ideas. And it comes from being open to whatever gifts come our way.
Our story today reminds us of the joy of giving and receiving. The young boy longed for a specific gift, a drum, and yet his mother gave him something else, a stick that she found on the road. And he received the gift, even though it wasn’t what he asked for, with a generous heart. He held it lightly and with joy so that when that gift was needed elsewhere, he passed it along easily. He could see where a gift was needed and he gladly accepted whatever came in its place.
How do you receive generous gifts? How do we receive generosity as a community and what do we do with those gifts? We have the power, each one of us and all of us together, to transform whatever comes our way into greater and greater gifts. How do we animate and expand our blessings through our relationships of care and love?
With Rev. Bret’s departure, we have an opportunity to start again, not from where we were before he became our minister, but with new experiences and learning that his leadership encouraged us to gain together. I share the feelings many of you have expressed – deep sadness at his departure for I am losing my friend, my colleague, and my mentor but also great joy in knowing that he is fulfilling a profound calling and that he and Cindy are eager to begin this new adventure together. I am grateful that he will be able to serve our faith in such an important way. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to minister to this church alongside him. And I’m excited about the possibilities that await this community.
What will we do with this opportunity? What can we imagine together and how can we bring our dreams into reality? We have done tremendous work together over these last five years and we have much to be grateful for. We are part of a community that nourishes and sustains us, that challenges us to transform our connection with one another into our commitment to help create a better, more sustainable and just world. How has your life been enriched by this community? What gifts have you received? What gifts of yourself have you shared and therefore expanded in this place and with these people?
In her 2016 Ted Talk, Journalist Courtney E. Martin talks about the shifting landscape of the American Dream. She states that, “for the first time in American history, the majority of parents do not think that their kids will be better off than they were.”
In other words, the American Dream is no longer within reach for most of us. But what if the dream itself is flawed. What if waking from that dream could awaken us to the benefits of more communal, cooperative living? What if our greater need to maximize our inherent interdependence made us live more simply, more sustainably and more mutually fulfilling lives? What if our recognition of how much we really need each other to thrive could empower us to relish the opportunities presented to us to give and receive. What if the everyday lived experiences of our connectivity inspired us to more fully and wholeheartedly share our gifts, to prioritize our relationships to one another over our ability to obtain more stuff?
Martin, in her Ted Talk, explains that she lives in a modified communal living situation where burdens and emotional support are shared among families. There is respect for privacy but also a mutuality that is priceless, that brings greater ease and satisfaction to life. For so much of our recent history, the American Dream has involved the image of some kind of perfect family in a perfect house behind a perfect picket fence. Our separateness, our individuality, our ability to make it on our own without help has been the measure of success.
But Martin asserts:
“The "new better off," … is less about investing in the perfect family and more about investing in the imperfect village, whether that's relatives living under one roof, a cohousing community…, or just a bunch of neighbors who pledge to really know and look out for one another… [or, I would add, a religious community that strives to nurture the human spirit for a world made whole.] The most reliable wealth is found in relationship.” She concludes.
This congregation has helped me to cultivate a more giving heart and to be a more gracious recipient. I am still not a wealthy person but my life is richer than I could have possibly imagined it would be and so much of that is the result of finding this community and cultivating the kind of relational, communal living Courtney Martin is talking about.
Now more than ever we have work to do, together. Now more than ever, we have a new dream to build – one that expands equity and compassion. One that makes each of us feel safer and braver, more cared for, more freely able to be our true selves. One that amplifies the voices of those who are marginalized, those who are suffering, those who are without enough food, or medicine, or housing, or mental healthcare. Now more than ever, the world outside these walls needs a progressive voice to answer the voices of hate with love. To answer the voices of isolation and protectionism, with liberation and mutuality. To answer the voices of vengeance with restorative justice. I cannot speak for you, but I need our voice. I need this community to feel the strength and the power of these people. I need the soul nourishment of this community to cast out the shadows of despair and to remember goodness, to be reminded that we are going to keep on striving, keep on showing up, again and again to resist fear mongering.
The other night, as I left this church, after a long day of work, many of you were here making lunches, serving food, welcoming folks in, and cleaning up. You were here even though you have full time jobs, and family members who are ill, and children that need to do homework. I am, over and over again, overwhelmed by the generosity of spirit demonstrated here. The world needs that kind of generosity, now more than ever and we need to strengthen one another to resist the evil of injustice. Now more than ever we need to learn from one another across generations, to create spaces where people can connect across difference, support one another through struggle and embolden each other to speak truth to power.
Now more than ever we need to organize, to write letters, to educate ourselves, to spiritually sustain ourselves, to create space for growth, to invite more and more people in to celebrate, lament, and thrive. Now more than ever we need to strive to fairly pay those who work tirelessly to make this church a vibrant hub of activity where transformation can happen – those who set up chairs, who clean and beautify our spaces, those who put together our newsletter and website, who care for our children and do so many things that most of us are unaware of.
This beloved community is a laboratory where we get to practice and cultivate this dynamic of giving and receiving. We are only operational because of the profound mutuality of true generosity. As we build our capacity to give, we are also building our capacity to receive generously. As we ask ourselves, “How much can I give?” We are also asking, “How much do you need?” “What do I have that is of value, and what do I deserve to receive?”
We heard an inspiring testimonial today from Alice Swan and you will be hearing from others over the next few weeks speaking to why they give to this church and how they decide what to give. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing our annual pledge drive, this is a process of building beloved community. You will get a call or an email from one of the 70 or so members of the church who have agreed to visit with other members and talk about their experience here. They will ask to meet you for coffee, or at your house, or here at church – whatever is most convenient for you. I encourage you to say yes, because this isn’t just a conversation about money, which you may, like me, shy away from. It is about our relationship to each other and the church. They’ll ask you about your experiences here – what you’ve enjoyed, what you have questions or concerns about, and how you might want to get involved further. It is first and foremost a chance to build relationships. Yes, they’ll ask you to fill out your pledge form but they won’t ask you to tell them what you’re going to give. They can answer some questions about the budget and help you think through how you might decide what to give, but only if you want to. Most people find this a very pleasant experience. Really.
Know this: people give to this church in a multitude of ways. They give of their time, their energy, their wisdom and passion. They give of their talents and expertise. And people give their financial resources. Some of you give tremendously, because you have greater financial means and are in a place in your lives when you can give much more than others. Some of you have college tuitions or medical expenses or other burdens that limit your financial giving but you give what you can. Some of you have very limited financial means and, if that is true for you, while my hope is that you have all that you need, it is okay that you aren’t able to contribute much or at all financially. No one’s value is determined by the amount of money you give. You are each valuable and deserving of the gifts that this congregation has to offer. We are each worthy of the joy of giving and receiving. We are each a part of this beloved community, no matter what number you write down on that pledge form. I ask you to stretch yourself into greater generosity, whatever that means for you, because generosity brings joy and abundance. I believe that. If you think you can afford another $100 a month or another $5, I ask you to reach for that. If you feel that now more than ever, we need to build our progressive voice of faith to answer the screams of authoritarianism, give what you can to support this church. If you can’t give financially, or can only give a small amount, give of your heart, and your passion and your time. And if you can’t give those, just receive. For now, just let yourself receive. When you receive generously, knowing you are held in love and compassion, we are all made better and stronger. Your time will come when you can give more. I know that. Someone told me that long ago, when I first started here. It was true. I am overjoyed to strive toward giving more and more. It comes out of the wellspring of deep love I have for this place and its people. For all of you.
My friends, generosity takes many forms. Only you can know what makes sense for you and your family. I trust you. We trust you and you have a right to be here and to participate fully no matter what you can give. My ask is that you give fully with your heart knowing that you are worth that generous giving and generous receiving. You are worth that openness to abundance, to the gifts that life has to offer and that you have tremendous gifts to share. May those gifts, whatever they may be, in whatever amount or form they are manifested, may they truly bring you joy and may they forever expand and grow in goodness, power and love.
May it be so. May we make it so.